Post by kat on Oct 14, 2008 23:15:21 GMT -5
This guide was written at the request of corgan... in a style specifically written for Salda.
Here is a map of important places:
Since I'm on the care bear server, this guide will be for non-pk.
Step 1: Talk to your good ol pal Leticia. Purchase the Los Toldos package (if you can afford it) because it's a good deal! 22K gpts sounds like a rip, but I did the math an 90Mystery Powders + 1 wheel + 1 otite perfume = 24K gpts. And if you get the package you get an AT pass, 10 Soul Crystals and 10 Triumph fillers thrown in! It's defos a savings in the long run.
Step 2: Make your way to Porto Bello Deserted Quay E3 & SAVE WARP HERE.
Double click your Otite perfume to activate it. I don't think you need to equip the wheel of destiny in order to get in (I did the first time, but on returning visits I wasn't wearing it and he let me in just fine.) Talk to the guy standing at E3 he'll tell you how nice you smell and let you into Los Toldos!
Step 3: Go ahead and step on into that shipwreck. Make sure the character wearing the wheel is the one that talks to Kurt or he won't have anything to do with you. He'll ask you to kill 10 undead soldiers and 10 undead gunners. Now go have a chat with Mr. Grumpy Longbeard in Los Toldos, give him a Mystery Powder and he'll let you into Tierre de la Muertos.
Those who did their Bernelli Prison of Joaquin quest will recognize these guys (the brightness was turned way up for this picture.. It's actually REALLY dark in TdlM. These are the guys you're after for this part of the quest. Good things: there are a ton of the soldiers wandering about/they're easy to kill.
Bad things: There are not a lot of gunners/you have to deal with all the Mueletos that wanna attack you at the same time.
As my Factionmate Salda put it: The Elites here are no joke! And they're not either, those d**n scouts can kill your softies, but fast, if you're not paying attention/only have moderate defense equips (like me!)
So, Kill your 10 Undead Soldiers and 10 Undead gunners and report back to Kurt (yes you just used an entire precious MP for a 5 minute trip into TdlM, get used to this.)
Step 4: Kurt wants to fight you. You're going to lose. If you're me then his Grim is going to 1HKO you're muskie and you'll be through before you could even mash the spacebar.
Failcakes with frosted failcream!
Good news is: you were supposed to lose. Kurt says you 'put up a good fight' but I'm pretty sure at this point he's just feeling sorry for you. Can Kurt feel pity? Kurt will ask you to deliver a secret love letter to his "spy" Ed.
Step 5: Ed's secret hidey-hole is located at E3. For this part of the quest use your faster characters. I used a levi ETS for everything because this map is big and most of these quests will be errand running between the emo baron lovers.
pic of the tombstone
map location of tombstone
Step 6: Help Ed exterminate his undead problem (easy peasy) Ed will actually help you rather than stand back and sip tea giving you advice from the corner of the room so this is pretty simple..
One good HOD should take care of everything. Give him the letter, he'll write some emo poetry and ask you to deliver it back to Kurt. Soooo Go back to Kurt.
OT:Ed's Poem to Kurt
Step 7:Kurt will tell you to kill at boss who spawns at G9.
Step 8: Use another of those precious MPs and make your way to G9, if the boss isn't there (believe me you'll know) then hang out by the tree in the center for about 15/20 min for a respawn.
That's him in the top left, bringing the pain to AkaiOrange. You'll recognize him by the glowing shield/sword/eyes. Now, my advice for this part of the quest is to bring 1 tank and 2 DPS. Me.. I only have 1 tank and I didn't bring him... here is a little reenactment of what our Fac Chat looked like when I tried this part (at this time Salda was in TdlM with me, but farming PO somewhere else)
fac mates: blah blah blah
Salda: blah blah hah lol
facmates: blah blah blah
DAnemone: help!
Salda: Where are ya?
...
...
...
Luckily Salda was able to decode my entirely vague call for help, knew exactly where I was and managed to save I disagree(lol should be "my a s s)... Even though I'd already used 2 soul crystals! MORAL: Bring a tank for this part. Defeat him and you'll receive the quest item of a pocket. Return to Kurt.
Step 9: Kurt reads Ed's touching poetry and it reminds him that he has a whole anthology of emo poetry he wrote when he was in middle school! He thinks he remembers where he left his emo poetry books... He tells you to look in this old settlement (that bridge you walked over on the way to Eds) Head to G7 and check out the Barrel/Woodpile/Crate to get Kurts emo poetry. Silly Kurt leaving them in such a strange place... Go get the 3 pages and return to Kurt.
Step 10: Kurt will ask you to spy on a town where he thinks Ed's new boyfriend lives. He gives you 5 invisibility potions and tells you to be stealthy... Run to B6, the town is there surrounded by a corral like fence/gate. Use Invisi pot on your leader and walk straight back to the farthest building from the gate, it will trigger an instance with... Ed's new boyfriend!
Ed has strange taste.
Defeat this guy. His attack is pretty weak but you can run into serious trouble if you don't take care of the undead that spawn with him. Use a large AOE to take care of the undead so that Monotoro is the only one dealing you damage.
Defeat Monotoro and head back to Kurt.
Step 11: Kurt wants you to go back and help him beat up this new guy who be stealing his man! He'll give you 5 more invisi pots with the same instruction... Head back to the town, repeat step 10 except this time Kurt will help you. Oh yea and Ed will show up too like "oh Kurt you're the only one for me" "this pregnant dog (b i t c h) is crazy" "I was only doing it to make you jealous" and other nonsense. Monotoro has been to the gym since you last met him because he is now gained 9 levels in 5 minutes (uhh can I borrow that CM sometime?) but with the not-so-Ambiguously Gay Duo helping you it'll be a snap.
Defeat Monotoro again and he'll run off and utter the phrase every obsessive lover always says:
Spoken like a true sore loser
Head back to Kurt *again*
Step 12: Kurt will ask you to go gather 10 Pure Otite. Head to Mr. Grumpy Longbeard, but this time instead of heading straight out into TdlM, tell him you want to craft Purt Otite (it will be a new option) It will bring you to a new menu where you need to ask him for the hunt quest. Ask for the hunt quest to activate it. Then head back into TdlM and kill 100 of anything you can kill. Go back to Senior Grumpy with the hunt quest complete and ask him to make Pure Otite for you. Chances are you will get 1 PO... if you're lucky you'll get two. MAKE SURE TO REACTIVATE THE QUEST. The PO hunting is just like any pioneer memorial quest in that you have to reactive the quest over and over. Don't forget or you'll waste a Mystery Powder.. and time. Repeat this 9 more times and head back to Kurt
*note* if you have a generous friend whom has already completed the Baron quests and will craft for you, you do not need to complete the quest if all you are after are the e.92 weapons/just wanna earn vis through selling POs. POs earned from this point on are actual inventory objects that can be traded and sold.
Step 13: Kurt has another nasty smut filled love letter for Ed. Head back to Ed's Hidey hole, give him the letter. Take Ed's 'Kurt n' Ed yaoi fanfic' comic from him and give it to Kurt.
Step 14: Kurt remembers that his disapproving step-dad was the reason that he and Ed broke up in the first place; and asks you to hold his hand while he confronts his step-dad... Who just so happens to be Sir Lyndon... the head honcho of all of all the fracking New World. Go to the "town" bridge where you picked up Kurts Emo poetry pages to witness the happy family reunion.
Oh did I say happy? Because it turns out that Sir Lyndon was sexually abusing Ed while Ed and Kurt were dating, so.. if it's true that having sex with someone is like having sex with everyone they've ever been with... One can only imagine the hot yaoi WINCEST that was had by proxy through the tight buttocks that should belong to Ed alone. Ed stabs them both with a sabre.. rendering them both completely unharmed. Oh pregnant dog(b i t c h) it is so on.
Step 15: At this point you now have a choice. You can either go talk to Kurt or go talk to Ed. Whomever you talk to will be the one whose card you get. They will ask you to go kill the other. Both are basically the same except that Kurt summons a black grim reaper and Ed summons a white one (ahah their clothes match their Grims, what a coinquidink) Once you've made them Kurt will constantly tell you how bored he is and Ed will tell you to stand back and let him handle everything because he is SO SUPER AWESOME. So at this point you had better just choose the one you think looks cooler.
I chose Kurt because Salda already had Ed... so now our faction can get down to what we do best.. making sure rule #34 & #35 stay true.
No, no I don't think I will. I read that nutsty(s h i t t y) emo poetry of yours. I'm doing us all a favor.
Best strategy for killing these guys is to bring a levitating wiz. I already had my lovely ETS so she "tanked" while the musk and my beloved Rio pelted Ed from behind. Use invisi pots on everyone but the wiz at the beginning of the fight to make sure that the wiz aggros quickly.
aw, you were right, I feel a little bad now. You were the better looking of the 2.
Step 16: Go back to the other Baron and trade him 70 MPs for "other barons" (aka his coke habit) and collect your card. Mr. Grumpy now has 2 new options for you, Buy Recipe and Craft Weapons! TdlM is now free and open for you to farm. Each recipe uses 30 PO, and each trip will give you 1 or 2 PO. For me I had about a 1 in 10 chance of getting 2PO. Here is a link to a complete *updated* list of all available recipes (the older guides are missing the e.92 Lute)
Anyway to wrap everything up neatly, here are the monster info cards for all the normal monsters in Tierre de la Muertos
Here is a map of important places:
Since I'm on the care bear server, this guide will be for non-pk.
Step 1: Talk to your good ol pal Leticia. Purchase the Los Toldos package (if you can afford it) because it's a good deal! 22K gpts sounds like a rip, but I did the math an 90Mystery Powders + 1 wheel + 1 otite perfume = 24K gpts. And if you get the package you get an AT pass, 10 Soul Crystals and 10 Triumph fillers thrown in! It's defos a savings in the long run.
Step 2: Make your way to Porto Bello Deserted Quay E3 & SAVE WARP HERE.
Double click your Otite perfume to activate it. I don't think you need to equip the wheel of destiny in order to get in (I did the first time, but on returning visits I wasn't wearing it and he let me in just fine.) Talk to the guy standing at E3 he'll tell you how nice you smell and let you into Los Toldos!
Step 3: Go ahead and step on into that shipwreck. Make sure the character wearing the wheel is the one that talks to Kurt or he won't have anything to do with you. He'll ask you to kill 10 undead soldiers and 10 undead gunners. Now go have a chat with Mr. Grumpy Longbeard in Los Toldos, give him a Mystery Powder and he'll let you into Tierre de la Muertos.
Those who did their Bernelli Prison of Joaquin quest will recognize these guys (the brightness was turned way up for this picture.. It's actually REALLY dark in TdlM. These are the guys you're after for this part of the quest. Good things: there are a ton of the soldiers wandering about/they're easy to kill.
Bad things: There are not a lot of gunners/you have to deal with all the Mueletos that wanna attack you at the same time.
As my Factionmate Salda put it: The Elites here are no joke! And they're not either, those d**n scouts can kill your softies, but fast, if you're not paying attention/only have moderate defense equips (like me!)
So, Kill your 10 Undead Soldiers and 10 Undead gunners and report back to Kurt (yes you just used an entire precious MP for a 5 minute trip into TdlM, get used to this.)
Step 4: Kurt wants to fight you. You're going to lose. If you're me then his Grim is going to 1HKO you're muskie and you'll be through before you could even mash the spacebar.
Failcakes with frosted failcream!
Good news is: you were supposed to lose. Kurt says you 'put up a good fight' but I'm pretty sure at this point he's just feeling sorry for you. Can Kurt feel pity? Kurt will ask you to deliver a secret love letter to his "spy" Ed.
Step 5: Ed's secret hidey-hole is located at E3. For this part of the quest use your faster characters. I used a levi ETS for everything because this map is big and most of these quests will be errand running between the emo baron lovers.
pic of the tombstone
map location of tombstone
Step 6: Help Ed exterminate his undead problem (easy peasy) Ed will actually help you rather than stand back and sip tea giving you advice from the corner of the room so this is pretty simple..
One good HOD should take care of everything. Give him the letter, he'll write some emo poetry and ask you to deliver it back to Kurt. Soooo Go back to Kurt.
OT:Ed's Poem to Kurt
Step 7:Kurt will tell you to kill at boss who spawns at G9.
Step 8: Use another of those precious MPs and make your way to G9, if the boss isn't there (believe me you'll know) then hang out by the tree in the center for about 15/20 min for a respawn.
That's him in the top left, bringing the pain to AkaiOrange. You'll recognize him by the glowing shield/sword/eyes. Now, my advice for this part of the quest is to bring 1 tank and 2 DPS. Me.. I only have 1 tank and I didn't bring him... here is a little reenactment of what our Fac Chat looked like when I tried this part (at this time Salda was in TdlM with me, but farming PO somewhere else)
fac mates: blah blah blah
Salda: blah blah hah lol
facmates: blah blah blah
DAnemone: help!
Salda: Where are ya?
...
...
...
Luckily Salda was able to decode my entirely vague call for help, knew exactly where I was and managed to save I disagree(lol should be "my a s s)... Even though I'd already used 2 soul crystals! MORAL: Bring a tank for this part. Defeat him and you'll receive the quest item of a pocket. Return to Kurt.
Step 9: Kurt reads Ed's touching poetry and it reminds him that he has a whole anthology of emo poetry he wrote when he was in middle school! He thinks he remembers where he left his emo poetry books... He tells you to look in this old settlement (that bridge you walked over on the way to Eds) Head to G7 and check out the Barrel/Woodpile/Crate to get Kurts emo poetry. Silly Kurt leaving them in such a strange place... Go get the 3 pages and return to Kurt.
Step 10: Kurt will ask you to spy on a town where he thinks Ed's new boyfriend lives. He gives you 5 invisibility potions and tells you to be stealthy... Run to B6, the town is there surrounded by a corral like fence/gate. Use Invisi pot on your leader and walk straight back to the farthest building from the gate, it will trigger an instance with... Ed's new boyfriend!
Ed has strange taste.
Defeat this guy. His attack is pretty weak but you can run into serious trouble if you don't take care of the undead that spawn with him. Use a large AOE to take care of the undead so that Monotoro is the only one dealing you damage.
Defeat Monotoro and head back to Kurt.
Step 11: Kurt wants you to go back and help him beat up this new guy who be stealing his man! He'll give you 5 more invisi pots with the same instruction... Head back to the town, repeat step 10 except this time Kurt will help you. Oh yea and Ed will show up too like "oh Kurt you're the only one for me" "this pregnant dog (b i t c h) is crazy" "I was only doing it to make you jealous" and other nonsense. Monotoro has been to the gym since you last met him because he is now gained 9 levels in 5 minutes (uhh can I borrow that CM sometime?) but with the not-so-Ambiguously Gay Duo helping you it'll be a snap.
Defeat Monotoro again and he'll run off and utter the phrase every obsessive lover always says:
Spoken like a true sore loser
Head back to Kurt *again*
Step 12: Kurt will ask you to go gather 10 Pure Otite. Head to Mr. Grumpy Longbeard, but this time instead of heading straight out into TdlM, tell him you want to craft Purt Otite (it will be a new option) It will bring you to a new menu where you need to ask him for the hunt quest. Ask for the hunt quest to activate it. Then head back into TdlM and kill 100 of anything you can kill. Go back to Senior Grumpy with the hunt quest complete and ask him to make Pure Otite for you. Chances are you will get 1 PO... if you're lucky you'll get two. MAKE SURE TO REACTIVATE THE QUEST. The PO hunting is just like any pioneer memorial quest in that you have to reactive the quest over and over. Don't forget or you'll waste a Mystery Powder.. and time. Repeat this 9 more times and head back to Kurt
*note* if you have a generous friend whom has already completed the Baron quests and will craft for you, you do not need to complete the quest if all you are after are the e.92 weapons/just wanna earn vis through selling POs. POs earned from this point on are actual inventory objects that can be traded and sold.
Step 13: Kurt has another nasty smut filled love letter for Ed. Head back to Ed's Hidey hole, give him the letter. Take Ed's 'Kurt n' Ed yaoi fanfic' comic from him and give it to Kurt.
Step 14: Kurt remembers that his disapproving step-dad was the reason that he and Ed broke up in the first place; and asks you to hold his hand while he confronts his step-dad... Who just so happens to be Sir Lyndon... the head honcho of all of all the fracking New World. Go to the "town" bridge where you picked up Kurts Emo poetry pages to witness the happy family reunion.
Oh did I say happy? Because it turns out that Sir Lyndon was sexually abusing Ed while Ed and Kurt were dating, so.. if it's true that having sex with someone is like having sex with everyone they've ever been with... One can only imagine the hot yaoi WINCEST that was had by proxy through the tight buttocks that should belong to Ed alone. Ed stabs them both with a sabre.. rendering them both completely unharmed. Oh pregnant dog(b i t c h) it is so on.
Step 15: At this point you now have a choice. You can either go talk to Kurt or go talk to Ed. Whomever you talk to will be the one whose card you get. They will ask you to go kill the other. Both are basically the same except that Kurt summons a black grim reaper and Ed summons a white one (ahah their clothes match their Grims, what a coinquidink) Once you've made them Kurt will constantly tell you how bored he is and Ed will tell you to stand back and let him handle everything because he is SO SUPER AWESOME. So at this point you had better just choose the one you think looks cooler.
I chose Kurt because Salda already had Ed... so now our faction can get down to what we do best.. making sure rule #34 & #35 stay true.
No, no I don't think I will. I read that nutsty(s h i t t y) emo poetry of yours. I'm doing us all a favor.
Best strategy for killing these guys is to bring a levitating wiz. I already had my lovely ETS so she "tanked" while the musk and my beloved Rio pelted Ed from behind. Use invisi pots on everyone but the wiz at the beginning of the fight to make sure that the wiz aggros quickly.
aw, you were right, I feel a little bad now. You were the better looking of the 2.
Step 16: Go back to the other Baron and trade him 70 MPs for "other barons" (aka his coke habit) and collect your card. Mr. Grumpy now has 2 new options for you, Buy Recipe and Craft Weapons! TdlM is now free and open for you to farm. Each recipe uses 30 PO, and each trip will give you 1 or 2 PO. For me I had about a 1 in 10 chance of getting 2PO. Here is a link to a complete *updated* list of all available recipes (the older guides are missing the e.92 Lute)
Anyway to wrap everything up neatly, here are the monster info cards for all the normal monsters in Tierre de la Muertos
